I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
