im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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