Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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