There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
