WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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