Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
