Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i dont even know how to be here
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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