just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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