To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
