you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
