We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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