We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
as a side note pls kill me
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
