Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
