you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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