ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize