I wish I could teleport
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
