nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
