Im at strip club and am horny
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The beer is more important than you right now.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
