i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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