It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
