I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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