found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
