I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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