those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize