Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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