oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
