I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
