P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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