I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
