I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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