I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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