quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
