Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
