also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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