He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You can't special order awesome
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize