Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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