I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My vagina just clenched in fear
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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