I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
