Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
