I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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