i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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