That's intense
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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