i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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