She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
