i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
