No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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