im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
