omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
