I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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