the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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