I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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