forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
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