You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
