I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
