yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
