I want to have your abortion
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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