i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
