so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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