Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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