Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Randomize
