Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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