It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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