I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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