i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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