Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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