3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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