I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
