just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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