He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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