well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
