I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
