Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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