the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
