we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
