wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize