Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
