So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
